Not a Dream
by BabyLoveJ
Summary: :OCxFong: OneShot She was left alone after Fong left without a note. She waited for him everyday but still, he did not appear like how he would appear in her dreams.


Meng (English Translation: Dream), I got the name from a Chinese show called 'Feng Yun' where Meng was Feng's lover and Feng in another spelling can be Fon/Fong because in chinese writing, it's the same :) And so, yeah that's how I got the name.

(a/n: I wrote this in after 12am, so my grammars and spellings are kind of off. Sorry.)

**I don't own KHR tyvm.**

* * *

"Fong, when will you be back..." Meng laid her head down on the bed where they both once lay together.

"I feel so lonely without you, I wished I could see you again." Meng mumbled this death wish again and again knowing that it'll never come true.

Meng sighed as she coughed again after the fifth time today. What is worse that she had coughed out blood. She should have been dead that day if not for Fong. He stopped her from using the forbidden tecnique that tranfers her life source to save his life. In return, sickness but she didn't mind doing anything for Fong. Her neighbours told her it was a waste because he had left her for another woman which she don't believe at all because she know he is not that kind and he is not the kind who wants to marry a richer girl either because that is what most man would greed on besides lust for woman. Meng strongly believed he isn't like this.

She know, he still love her somewhere within the depths of his heart. She sounded so obsessive or desperate but she isn't. He did said those three words years ago and she was too shocked to reply. Of course, she regretted it. Meng just, missed him a lot.

Unless what the neighbours' second guess was true. Maybe, _she was just a dream to him._

_

* * *

_

(Flashback, when Meng was younger. In her teens.)

"Master! Where is Fong?" Meng said as he sat infront of the man around 30s who was meditating. Meng stared at her master with curiosity in her eyes. She couldn't do well in meditating and what's worse is that she was unable to stop herself from getting distracted easily.

"Well, he gave you special task though." Her master smirked at her as she jumped up and exclaimed, "What task!"

"Find him. He's hiding around here, somewhere in this BIG garden." Her master smiled, happy with what he had done tricking the girl when Fong isn't around because it was cute seeing Fong standing by her side and protecting her from the master that was full of tricks.

"Yes Master Huang!" The man smiled to himself again, feeling contented that he had tricked the girl in finding Fong when Fong was late. _Silly_, he thought to himself. _That's what happens when two are in love. Looking out for each other. Cute._

He watched her jumped into the thick bamboo forest, looking for Fong and calling out to Fong's name. He continued meditating until he sensed Fong's presence.

"Master Huang." Fong said as he bowed politely to him.

The master only nodded and went back to meditating as Fong suddenly jumped into the thick a bamboo forest and came out within a few minutes with Meng beside him, her hand over his shoulders and his hand by her waist. He glared at his master for knowing that he had tricked Meng into this.

"Oh, Meng, you're here." He smiled as he stood up and stretched himself. Pretending that nothing had happened.

"Master Huang, I believed that you would one day stop this game once and for all." Fong said calmly to his Master while surpressing the irritation inside him.

"Well, this is one of the ways to prove that you like her isn't it?" Master Huang shrugged at Fong as Meng stirred awake.

"Meng, are you alright?" Fong held her face gently as his eyes soften at the girl's reply, "I'm fine."

"You had me worried back there," Fong held her shoulders, having her to face him. "I've told you many times not to trust this sick pervert who keeps tricking you non-stop! He prepared nothing but trouble for you!" Fong said to Meng as she nodded quickly, afraid of Fong bursting at her.

"Hoi hoi kiddo, watch your words about the 'sick pervert' part!" Master Huang said as he hit the fan that came out of nowhere and hit Fong's head. Fong's face flushed red with anger as he glare at Master Huang but it slowly died down when he saw Meng trying to cover up her giggles and he thought she look cute like this.

Master Huang shook his head and mumbled, "Young love."

* * *

Meng sighed, getting up from the spot on the bed. She walked towards the garden where they once trained martial arts together since young. She walked towards the small wooden bridge which hovers a small stream. She sat at the edge, swinging her legs back and forth. Heart aching as she thought about the pasts again. Her body felt cold and chilly suddenly. She don't want to think about the memories that had hurt her deep as she thought why couldn't he just left her die on the spot instead of letting her live.

Slowly, she felt depressed again. She felt like commiting suicide to end the pain once and for all but she didn't really believe the fact that when a person die, he or she will be looking from above. She wants to see Fong again. Face to face, flesh to flesh. Even till she is 60 something or so, she'll wait.

She doesn't know bout his whereabouts, yet she waited like a idiot which the neighbours would say. She didn't care what others had said about Fong, she held the thought that he will be back for her.

* * *

"Meng." Fong whispered as she opened her eyes slowly.

"What will you do..." Fong said as he bit his lower lip. "...if I left you one day?"

Meng shot up from lying on his lap, alert at what he had said. "I will follow you!" She exclaimed.

"But judging by your body's situation, you're unfit to..."

"I don't care about my body or anything else but you, Fong." She said, looking at the endless flowing of water along the stream in the wide garden at the back of

"But Meng..." Fong continued. "...what if you aren't allowed to go with me?"

"..." Meng furrowed her brows at the water flowing. "Fong, why are you asking me these questions anyway?"

Fong sighed and replied, "I'm just wondering. I... don't want to leave you either." Fong gave a small squeeze at Meng's hands.

"You promised me you will never leave my side didn't you?" Meng said, remembering the little pinky promise back then.

"Yes. I did." Fong felt guilty as he lied into convincing her that he'll never leave her but because he was assigned to Mafia, it was a rule that being an Arcobaleno, you have to leave the pasts behind which means sacrificing the ones you love and care most about.

He leaned in for the very last hug that night, a tear slipped through his eye as he quickly wipe it off. Knowing that he has to leave tomorrow.

* * *

Meng shook her head trying to shake that memory out of her head. The very last night they had spent together, she wished it had last forever. She knew that drowning herself with all these memories would never work anything out which means it'll never bring him back.

He had left nothing of him for her, except the broken heart of hers and the memories of him which added a deeper crack in her heart. Overall, he had left pain for the dream that he left behind.

She knew she had to move on somehow. She can't afford to stay like this forever. What else can she do besides sewing the Chinese word, '风' over and over again? It became a hobby to her. He had even appeared in her dreams and sometimes she would try to sleep again just to dream of him, again.

The only last choice she would ever make is marrying herself off but she couldn't let herself to because she didn't want to hurt the guy, whoever had married her. Nearly every week, a guy would be brought in upon the request of the matchmaker known as 'Hong-sao' to her. ('Hong' is the surname of the person and '-sao' meant aunt.) She rejected all because she didn't have the feeling for those men that came from the village she is living in to all over China.

Most of the time there would be this guy know as 'Lei' (Translation: Thunder / Pronouciation: Lay) who visited her most of the time. He came to know her shortly after seeing her faint by the road outside her house and coming to her rescue. He came from a wealthy family with looks that every girl in the village would die to touch for just a single second but he was a peaceful and humble guy and he was in love with Meng. He knew she had someone in her mind but he didn't ask who the other man on her mind was judging by the sewing of Fong's name in her house.

He would sit beside Meng and stare her while she kept sighing away, not sharing any painful pasts of hers to him as she found it 'useless' to talk about it. He felt hurt seeing her in pain.

* * *

"Meng! I'm here! Open up." Lei asked as he knock on the wooden doors softly.

He heard a few coughs that drew near to him and light footsteps that he barely heard.

"I'm sorry, Lei. Did I make you wait for very long. I'm deeply sorry about that." Meng opened up the door, apologizing straightaway before he could even speak. He smiled back at Meng who had just gave him a small smile filled with pain that could be seen.

"It's really alright, Meng." Lei said, assuring her.

"Oh, alright. Come on in." Meng ended her reply with a cough.

"Meng, have you been eating your medicine? It seems like you didn't." Lei frowned at her as she didn't take the medicine that he had asked the physician to give to her.

"It doesn't really matter, my sickness will never be cured. I'll leave this world soon, I guess." Meng said as her grip on the door tightened but relaxed after awhile.

Lei quickly pulled her into a hug, "Stop these nonsense, Meng. I'm still here for you."

"You'll leave soon one day, I'd heard that your family had given you a arranged marriage. Your wife-to-be is so lucky isn't she? For having such a caring husband like you." Meng pulled away as she continued to her house with Lei trailing behind her.

"Even if I'm married, I will still visit you every-"

"It will never happen, Lei. It'll be seen as two-timing and it is a disgrace to society and your family name. Stop doing these things to me, it's no use and I don't need anyone's pity on me. I can cope with myself." Meng said as she opened the windows to allow the light to shine into her lightly dimmed room.

Lei look down at his feet, clenching his fists in the process for this very dumb tradition that existed.

"Why not you marry me, Meng?" Lei asked as he walk towards her, holding her shoulders, facing her. Like how Fong had held her in the past.

"I can't return your feelings, Lei and you know that." Meng said as she got out of his grasp and leaned at the wooden window sill.

"I.." Lei had decided, he will give up anything just to take care of Meng not because she was sick and needed help but he loved her too. "...don't care if you are able to love me back or not. It doesn't matter to me anymore whether you can return the feelings or not. I just, love you and only you will be able to bring me happiness and -"

"Lei." Meng said, serious this time. "What makes you think that being with me, seeing me do things that would only hurt you is able to bring you happiness? You're lying, Lei."

"No, Meng. I'm not. I'm serious about being happy with you because seeing you smile is something priceless and I know that face of yours can only fit a pretty smile that worth nothing compared to gold. I want to take good care of you too and nurse you back to health. I want to grow old with you and I want to hold you in my arms every night before I go off to sleep. Give me a chance, Meng. Although i'm unlike Fong, a martial arts champion and a great charming guy, I still want to stay beside you, taking care of you. I promise all these to you, Meng. I would do whatever you say as long as I can see that smile of yours, I'm happy."

_Being happy with you... Pretty smile... Nurse you back to health... Hold you in my arms every night..._

These phrases, she heard them from Fong before. It hurt her again but she knew being hurt all over again thinking about it will seriously get her to nowhere. She gave out a last sigh and said, "Lei, are you serious about what you have just said. It's a great price you have decided to pay."

"Yes, Meng." Lei said as he took a step toward her. "I know I can never replace him, Meng but I decided I would be your reality instead of a dream. I am willing to protect you with my life and I will never ever leave you."

She felt like she was hearing a recorder that played back again. He is promising everything that Fong couldn't do it. She look to Lei again as Lei waited for her answer. She had decided. She is going to give up on waiting. She was also tired of having so many men coming up to her place to ask for her hand in marriage.

"Alright Lei. I'm saying yes to your marriage proposal." _Now my life depends on this silly idiot who is willing to marry a girl who doesn't love him back. _Meng thought as she gave a small smile at his victory dance.

* * *

Everything was prepared as Meng quickly wished that this day was over. She had ate some pills that would control her coughing for the time being during the wedding ceremony. Fong was on her mind all the time.

She never wiped that half-hearted smile off her face. She had finally survived the rest of the day and it was night where in tradition, that's when the couple would 'get-a-room'. She sat on the bed, the red veil was still covered over her head. She could hear Lei's voice from outside the room as she stay still in her seat on the bed as she waited for Lei to enter.

"I'm sorry, Meng. I made you wait for me."

She could see Lei walking towards her through the transparency of the veil although it wasn't very clear. He lifted up the veil that covered her face, for the first time she thought it was Fong who had lifted the veil up but when she blinked again, it was Lei.

"It is okay, Lei." Meng looked down on her lap in embarassment that she thought it was Fong instead of Lei.

"Um, Meng?" Lei called out to her as she turned her head slowly to look at him. "Are you... uhm... sure you want to do... this... ?" Lei said sheepishly, getting rid of thoughts that was unthinkable.

"If you want to, it is fine with me." Meng said curtly, looking away.

"Then I chose not to. I married you because I love you not because I wanted children or anything. You are too precious to me and I want to treasure you for the rest of our lives." Lei said as his eyes soften at Meng.

Meng smiled at Lei, thanking him for reading her thought that she didn't want any of it. Fong was still on her mind.

* * *

From days, it became weeks. From weeks it became months.

Meng have been staring into space lately and Lei was worried about her. Her sickeness did not improve as expected and she requested Lei to stop giving her medication to heal because she will never make it. She will still cough out blood in the end. Her body had become weaker that she fainted most of the time.

One day, Lei was busy with work as Meng was getting bored in the room. She had decided to visit her old home.

As she stepped into the house, she felt a small presence outside in the garden. She walked quickly, curious about the person that was wandering around her garden.

"Is there somebody here?" Meng said to no one as she continues to walk into the garden. A rustle was heard as she turned around and saw a black braid disappeared into the bunch of leaves. She bent down as she furrowed her brows to look better into the bush.

"Come out now." Meng said as she coughed again. She stood in her position for some time, waiting for the 'thing' to appear infront of her. "Goodness, I guess I was just hallu-"

Meng fainted as she stood up due to the rush of blood in her body and what's worse was being under the heat.

Drops of water could be heard as Meng slowly open up her eyes and saw a pair of big black pupils staring back at her.

"Meng, are you alright?" Meng was confused as she slowly sat up while the small baby helped her up.

"You are..." Realisation hit her as images of Fong flashed through her mind. "...Fong?" Her eyes widen in surprise.

He sighed as he spoke, "Yes. I am Fong."

"Where... have you been... the whole time..." Tears was starting to form in her eyes as she clutched her bedsheets.

"I am... I'm in no position to tell you but I'm glad that you are fine now." Fong replied as he avoided her gaze. Her heart broke again as the feelings when he was missing was back. Heartbroken, torn apart.

"Are you going to leave again?" Meng coughed as she finished her sentence that she wished she didn't ask to add pain into her broken heart.

"I can't stay long, Meng." Fong turned to look at her again as Meng wished the moment had last but soon broke off when Fong hopped off from her bed to the floor, still looking at Meng.

"Fong, where are you going..." Meng asked weakly as she fell back onto her bed, tiredness taking over her body.

"Somewhere, Meng. I..." His eyes soften as Meng slowly close her eyes. "I love you, Meng but I'm sorry I have to leave you now. I will see you again soon my love, I swear." Fong slowly walk away after hearing no reply from her.

As he opened the door slowly, he heard her mumbling, "I love you too, Fong."

Fong smiled as he took a glance of the hanky she had made for him, the word '风' sewn at the bottom right hand corner. He kept it dearly with him as he travelled back to his place where he work as a Arcobaleno.


End file.
